The Pastor’s Ass
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT. The...
View ArticleI just farted
An elderly couple is sitting in church. The woman says to her husband, “I just let out a silent fart. What should I do?” The man turns to her and says, “Well, you can start by changing the battery in...
View ArticleTennis Elbow
I was recently told I have “tennis elbow.” I don’t play tennis. Reminded me of this old joke. After enduring elbow pain for a few weeks, Ken decided it was time to go see a doctor. When he arrived,...
View ArticleHoney! Pack your bags!
This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, “Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!” She says, “Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?” He replies, “I don’t care…Just get the...
View ArticleThe Amazing Claude
It was entertainment night at the senior center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed Hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the...
View ArticleIt’s Better than coffee
A Catholic priest and a Mormon bishop are on the same airplane and seated beside each other. “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you are not to drink coffee?” asked the priest. The Mormon...
View ArticleSusie ran out of gas
A little girl asks her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?” Mom says, “The dog is in heat, go ask daddy.” The little girl goes to her father, “Dad, can I take Susie for a walk...
View ArticleRed Sox and Yankee Fans
One foggy night, a Yankee fan is heading north from New York and a Red Sox fan is driving south from Boston. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars. The Red Sox...
View ArticleThe American Dream
An American businessman was standing at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The...
View ArticleThe Texas Chili Cook-off
NOTES FROM A TEXAS CHILI COOK-OFF Includes notes from an inexperienced chili tester named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast. Frank notes: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a...
View ArticleI’m Telling Everyone!
An old man walks into a church, and goes for a confession. The priest pulls back the window, and the old man says: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I am 80 years old and I was walking home from...
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A young couple moved to a new town and wanted to join the church, so they stopped in to visit the pastor. The pastor said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from...
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